Like a Dagger to the Heart

Posted on Sun Mar 10th, 2019 @ 7:53pm by Lieutenant Commander Seleya

Mission: S01E04 The Outpost Has Eyes
Location: Earth, Starfleet Command

ON:

The dreaded sound of Klaxons began to blare just as soft lips were about to meet; just as his sky blue eyes, held her in a trance, just as her own eyes closed with anticipation…

Seleya sat up sharply waving her hands to the right in a vain attempt to swat the screaming clock that beckoned her out of her warm bed and her scorching dreams.

Leaning a little more than she should caused the laws of gravity to snap her within their grasp pulling her down with a sickening thud. She yelped at the impact just as the klaxons shut down. She looked up to see her pet squirrel, Elijah, had pressed the snooze button. She eyed the little animal and could have sworn he was laughing at her. “Not funny.” She said rubbing her hip. The impact would leave a mark.

She shut off the clock and quickly headed to the shower to get ready for her meeting. She rushed through her morning routine and dressed in a crisp new uniform. She combed her hair carefully covering her ears. She then downed her breakfast, a mix of chocolate and coffee and head out the door leaving Elijah behind. He’d tried to go with her but she’d given him a stern talking to. “You are not going. You have now bitten the Admiral twice. I do not want to treat you for rabies.”

It didn’t take long for her to arrive at Starfleet HO. After the usual security screenings she made her way to the office that Michael Essex was occupying. She pressed the buzzer and watched as the doors slid open.

Stepping through she had to remember to breath. There, in living colour, stood the man that had haunted her dreams for just over a year. She hid her feelings well. Truth be told she used all her Vulcan training not to read the admiral. He was hard to read anyway. “You have recalled me….early.”

Michael turned and resisted the urge to drink her in with his eyes. It had been hell these last months without her and if anything he would be in self-imposed purgatory for the rest of his life. “Yes. Please sit.” He motioned to the Coffee. “Would you like some?”

She shook her head. “Is the Apollo ready to launch?”

Michael sat down and sipped from his own coffee. How did he broach the next topic? Was the Apollo ready? Almost. Would she be on it? No. “I have something for you.” He slid a box across the table.

She opened it and looked over at him with a questioning glance. “I do not understand.”

“Congratulations. You are now a Lieutenant Commander.” Michael decided if looks could kill he’d be toast. He resisted the urge to smile.

“I respectfully refuse.”

He rolled his eyes then. He’d seen it coming. She’d refused a rank promotion three times already. “Refusal denied Commander.”

She narrowed her eyes and he could swear he saw a vain bulging in her forehead. “I refuse. I will stay a Lieutenant. I do not want a rank promotion.”

“Tough Bananas,” he responded.

Seleya studied him a look of confusion crossing her face. “I fail to see what unripen fruit has to do with my refusing a rank promotion.”

Michael threw his head back and laughed. He hadn’t been expecting that. “It’s an expression.” He shook his head unable to stop smiling. He allowed himself to study her and burn her image into his mind. “You cannot refuse; furthermore, you are to report to the Apollo and pack up your stuff.”

He watched her beautiful black eyes lighten as if the amber within them glowed. “You are firing me?”

He shook his head. “You are being transferred to the Musashi.”

“You are sending me to a raw fish?”

Michael, despite the serious nature of the conversation laughed. “Sushi is raw fish. You are going to the USS Musashi. A great ship. A strong female captain who will be a great influence on you and who can help you.”

Now he did see the vain bulging.

“I do not require assistance. I am the Chief Medical Officer of the USS Apollo…”

Michael raised his voice. “No longer! You are now transferred.”

She stayed silent for so long he was beginning to wonder if she’d speak again and then she did, “I have no choice in this?”

“None.”

She stood and began to pace. “Have I done something to offend you?”

Michael stood and rounded his desk. He sat down on the edge. “Seleya listen I have appreciated your medical expertise more then you know. You have kept us all healthy and taken good care of my crew. Captain Figueroa can teach you so much. You still lack a confidence in yourself and your abilities that I can’t seem to make you have. She is a strong female leader who is going to really help you find yourself. I know that you dislike change but this is something that has to happen.”

Seleya’s controlled temper flared. “I do not see why you are banishing me. I did nothing to deserve it!”

He saw the pain in her eyes. He knew that she must be thinking of how her parents had banished her, how the priestesses had done so from Vulcan and some others in her life and now here he was sending her away. What she didn’t realize was that sending her away would probably kill him. It already felt as though he was twisting the dagger into his own heart.

He stood and gently took her by the shoulders. “Seleya listen to me. This is what is best for you.”

She tried to pull away but when she raised her hand to push him away she seemed to freeze. She stared at her hand on his chest and the dream from last night swept through her. A heavy feeling of Déjà vu swept through her. She licked her suddenly dry lips and raised her eyes to meet his. She studied his blue eyes, his short brown hair and the dimples on the side of his cheeks that were pronounced both in times of smiles and frowns. She found that she didn’t want to push away and found herself wanting to see what his lips would taste like just once.

Beneath her hand she could feel his heart hammering and wondered if she was mistaking her own heart’s pounding as his. “Admiral I believe that you could be having a heart episode.”

He smiled, “Is that what this is?” He was only a breath away now. Michael fought to get his hammering heart under control. He gently put her aside trying to put distance between them. He turned away. He had to get her to leave. “Seleya go to your new ship. You are no longer wanted on mine.”

He turned slightly to look at her and the pain in her eyes twisted the dagger hard causing him to wonder if he’d stopped breathing. Without a word she turned and left.

Michael staggered to the door his eyes misting over. He braced himself against the door feeling as if he’d been stabbed a thousand times.

On the other side of the door Seleya stood breathing hard, trying to get her emotions in control. She turned back to the door shaking with anger and pain. Another person in her life had just thrown her away. With a shaky voice she said, “I think I liked the dream better.” She choked on the last word and headed out of HO to get her stuff and to leave. She felt as if she’d taken a dagger to the heart and if a part of her very soul had been ripped from her.

Michael staggered back to his chair and fell into it as if his strength had failed him. He heard the incessant chiming of the door and reached over flipping the grey switch that would open the door.

Commander Rogers entered the office and knew immediately something was off. The paleness of the Admiral, the struggle to breath…was his commanding officer having a heart attack? “Sir?” He was at the Admiral’s side.

Michael swallowed several times. “I told her she wasn’t wanted on my ship.”

The words were barely a whisper.

Rogers sighed, “Ahhh that’s why she flew out of here like a bat out of hell. You did what was right. You know what happened and you know she’s in danger. Her life depended on her going.”

Michael studied his first officer, the only other person who knew of how much Michael loved her.

“What I don’t get,” Rogers continued. “Do you really think the Admirals would do that?”

Michael gave a nod. “Yes. I heard them. They were questioning her abilities. It took all of me to convince them that they’d been lied to and that she didn’t have abilities. They would have put her in some lab like a specimen to be studied, poked, and prodded. I think I convinced them that she was not that good an officer and that they were lied to about her abilities. Sending her to the Musashi was the nail in the coffin. If I was willing to send her to Figueroa the admirals were convinced she wasn’t worth their time. They underestimate her and Figueroa. She’s a good captain and she will help Seleya find herself.

Rogers sighed, “I hope so. Do we know who snitched about her abilities?”

“Lieutenant Price. He wanted to be CMO and he’d do what it took.”

Rogers shook his head. He’d always hated the Assistant CMO. “What are we going to do with Price?”

A positively evil look crossed Essex’s face. “He got his wish. He is CMO now at P37Alpha.”

Rogers coughed on the water he’d just poured himself and sipped. P37Alpha was Starfleet’s worst prison planet. “They will eat that maggot alive there.”

Essex stood and straightened his uniform. “I know. Let’s get to the Apollo. She’ll be ready to launch and I need to get out of here.”

Rogers sighed, “Of course.” Essex wasn’t just his commanding officer but his best friend and he knew what it had cost him to send Seleya away. He just hoped that his friend would survive. There were days when he thought the only reason Essex drew breath was because of Seleya. She’d taken a ruined soul that had given up on life and given it meaning. Suddenly he too felt like punching a wall.

OFF: