Finding Your Voice, Part I

Posted on Tue Jan 30th, 2018 @ 7:53pm by Commander Christopher Samuels MDiv, PhD

Mission: S01E02 D-8 With the Devil
Location: Deck Two - Mess Hall

“I suppose, congratulations are in order, ensign.”

At the sound of the deep, baritone voice, Ensign Arturo Marquez looked up from his tray of food to see Commander Samuels standing there, holding a tray of food between his hands. The tall man was not in uniform and dressed in casual clothing, it was an odd sight for sure. “Oh, um, thank you, sir,” Arturo finally managed. He cleared his throat as he tried to calm his nerves. He was feeling that same sort of excitement/anxiety he felt when he talked to the captain. He was going to ask the other man if he wanted to sit, but immediately thought better of it. Why would the XO want to sit with an ensign? was his thought.

Yet…

“Mind if I join you?” Christopher asked.

At first Arturo didn’t say anything, and internally panicked that maybe the commander could read his thoughts. He knew there were species that could do that, was Commander Samuels one of them? He eyed the taller man; he looked human… okay, so it was absurd thinking. He shook his head at his own off-the-wall thinking. “Sure, of course, I mean you are the executive officer after all.”

Christopher smiled at that as he set his tray down on the table, pulled the chair out and slid into it. “On duty, yes, I am the XO but off-duty and out of uniform, I’m just a regular guy,” he said. He looked down at his food; the galley actually prepared something that looked edible. It was some type of Mexican dish, enchilada bake of some sort. Anyway, it smelled good. “So, how are you Arturo? Have you settled into the job of chief navigator?”

“You know my first name?” Arturo asked, clearly perplexed by how comfortable—and conversational—Commander Samuels was being. The man was relaxed, clearly, even with the way he was dressed. It was like a shock to the system in a way. It was not how he was taught to see command line officers.

Chuckling at that, Christopher looked to Arturo and shook his head. “Of course I know your first name,” he said, as he reached for his cup. He wasn’t always good with names, but he typically paid attention to the up and comers, not to mention Arturo Marquez was part of the senior staff now, it was Christopher’s job to know all that he could about the young man. “Just relax, we are off duty, there is no need to worry or be nervous.” He started to dig into his food and began to eat, all of this was now in the ensign’s court now.

Sure, it’s fine for you to say not to be nervous… you aren’t the twenty year old ensign who got promoted over some others, Arturo thought to himself, in reference to Samuel’s words. “Um okay,” Arturo replied, his voice soft. He began to push around his food, his appetite suddenly gone. “I’ll try.” He still couldn’t believe that the executive officer was sitting with him; no one ever sat with him in the mess hall. For the most part he ate alone, except for Cornet Jakku, no one had really extended a hand in friendship. Even then, with how busy Cornet was, they never really could connect for a meal or to hang out when off-duty. “So, um, to your question from before, I am doing fine and I think I’m settling in.” Again, he started to push around his food, unsure of what to really say past that. “I suppose it helps that I have had bridge duty, and I have had a chance to sit in on a briefing when we didn’t have a navigator yet…” His words trailed off.

“Experience is always a good thing,” Christopher replied. He went along with Fig on this one, though he had his doubts. It wasn’t that he didn’t’ want to see a young person succeed; he just wasn’t sure if Arturo Marquez was the right person. But this was why he was sitting with the young man. He wanted to get to know him better; he wanted to see if there was more to the young man besides his intellect and his gift for numbers. “And you also have to remember that you will gain experience as you learn the ropes of being a chief. It will entail a lot more than just sitting on the bridge.” Which, he knew all too well. He had been a chief science officer for a long time, and now that he was XO he found that his career was changing again. He was now doing science less and less.

Arturo nodded. “I understand, in fact the captain had said that you and I should talk about the crew rotation for navigation. If you want, we can talk about that now. I already memorized the list of navigators and those who are certified to fill in…”

Christopher raised his hand mid-chew to slow the young man down. “We don’t need to talk shop right now, Arturo. Come see me in the morning and we can talk about the crew rotations and such,” he said. He set down his fork and kept his gaze on the other man. He gave him a once over, observing him, his movements, his facial expressions. He just wanted Arturo to calm down a bit. “We are having dinner, and it’s not like I’m opposed to talking about work, it’s just we have to have some down time as well. I thought it would be nice to just have a regular conversation, a way for you to get to know me and for me to get to know you, okay?” Now, by all rights, Christopher knew Arturo could say no to that.

“Oh… Okay…” Arturo replied, clearly confused by this turn of events. Why would anyone want to get to know him? He wasn’t anything special, he was genius level when it came to mathematics, beyond that his social skills were less than desirable. Or was this a trick by the captain and Commander Samuels? Maybe they were testing him, what they could be testing him for, he didn’t know… but there was that possibility. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, calming himself and after he smiled a bit of a smile. “Do I go first or do you?”

This time, Christopher found himself smiling. At that moment he realized that Arturo Marquez was so young, to the point the lad could be his son. When he looked into those dark brown eyes he could see the wonderment, the innocence and the naivety. In a way, it was refreshing. People his age were jaded, bitter, and still held onto the slim hope that the universe was still a better place than what they dealt with in the past. He could see that anger and bitterness in Fig, when he looked into the mirror he saw it in himself. It was just how one dealt with it that mattered. He chose to hold onto his spirituality, faith, and science, with Fig... well, he wasn’t quite sure what she clung too. Starfleet ideals? Revenge? The Musashi? It was certainly something he was interested in knowing about the captain, but yet he wanted to tread lightly on that. Maybe another time, I need to focus on the kid… he stopped himself with that thinking, no not a kid, a young adult, an officer, an ensign and now a senior member of the staff. “It’s not about who starts, Arturo. It’s conversation, so it’s meant to just flow, you know, one thing leading to another.”

Arturo nodded. Okay, yeah, he knew that, of course he knew that. “How are you liking the Musashi?” he asked. He had known the commander was a transfer like himself. He also knew the older man served on the Constitution before this. He wanted to ask if Samuels felt this was a step down, but didn’t dare toe that line.

It certainly wasn’t a question Christopher was expecting, though in hindsight, he wasn’t sure what to expect from the young navigator. He still couldn’t believe how young the man who sat across from him was. He could barely even remember being twenty. “It is certainly… different, but I think I have settled in. The Musashi is a unique ship for a scientist to be assigned to, so I will enjoy the challenge.” He hooked a finger around the handle of the brown coffee mug and brought it to his lips, but before he sipped he asked, “What about you? How are you enjoying your first assignment?” He then sipped.

Staying silent for a moment, Arturo pondered the question. How did he feel? Did he give a canned response, or did he actually take the opening as a way to be truthful? “I was lucky to get her,” he began, “though it’s been rough. I’ve had a hard time fitting in.” Okay, so he didn’t mean to go that far, but now it was out there.

Christopher’s left eyebrow arched at that. He didn’t like to hear that a young, freshly minted officer was having a hard time fitting in somewhere. “Care to elaborate on that? Why do you think you don’t fit in?” He wondered if part of the reason Arturo didn’t fit in was because he was younger than even a fresh out of the Academy ensign. It was an odd thing when twenty-two year olds felt they had nothing in common with twenty year olds.

Arturo shrugged, his dark brown eyes darted around the mess hall. People were gathered; some were in uniform, some in off-duty clothing. They were grouped together, having conversations, laughing; a couple in the corner was holding hands gazing into each other’s eyes. They were in love; he could see how the one woman was looking at the other woman. She adored the other woman. He finally turned his attention back to the executive officer and noticed the older man was staring at him. “I guess I have never been good at fitting in, my twin brother on the other hand…” A small smile crossed his lips as he thought about Antonio.

TBC...