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Logic over all

Posted on Fri Oct 13th, 2017 @ 12:05am by Lieutenant JuniorGrade Fethraie D'Darra & Chief Petty Officer Alphonso Phillips
Edited on on Fri Oct 13th, 2017 @ 12:19am

Mission: S01E01 - At the Brink of Night

Philips was walking the halls of the Musashi, he called it a patrol, but he used this time to reconcile his demons. He had lost track of time direction and what he was supposed to be doing. Until he saw the Vulcan.

Fethraie was on her way to the gym. She wore standard Vulcan attire and had a gym bag hanging from her shoulder. She connected eyes with Alphonso and regarded him with a nod. “Chief,” was all she said, fully expecting to pass him by without further words.

"Hello Ensign, can you tell me, is there a counselor on the Musashi?" asked Philips.

Feth stopped in her tracks only after two more steps. She thought a moment then turned to Alphonso. “I do not believe we do have a counselor.” She looked away but was really focusing inward and did a quick inventory of the biographies she had looked over and, “I never did come across a BIO of any counselor serving aboard the Musashi.” Reconnecting her eyes with his, “I am afraid we do not have a counselor on board. I am sorry.” Feth made the first bit of movement to turn and continue her journey to the gym but it took only a few split seconds of logical and critical thinking for her to conclude something. “Why do you inquire? Chief, are you in need of a confidant?”

Philips listened and thought about what Feth had just said. " Not really, it's just that when I was a cop in Chicago, if you shot and killed someone, you had a mandatory visit to the department shrink. I was just thinking that had to be protocol on a Star Ship as well." Replied Philips.

Fethraie furrowed her brow instinctively as she looked up to the man taller than her. Both curiosity and confusion were present behind her eyes. She followed that up by quickly looking and making sure they were not being observed or heard. “Chief,” she lowered her voice and stepped closer to him, “you did not just shoot and kill someone…did you?”

Philips almost laughed out loud; "No. At least not on the ship. On our last away mission, I killed a Klingon. And well if it's protocol to talk to someone about it, I just want to get it over with!" Replied Philips.

“Right,” Feth realized, “your away mission. Sorry. I have not had the opportunity to review it yet. I am actually still working on my own. I am aware that Starfleet Regulation does dictate that the death of an enemy combatant during an away mission should be discussed with the counselor. In the absence of said counselor, the Captain, First Officer or the Chief of Security can step in as confidant. We are unable to provide counseling services, but are allowed to give our opinions and recommendations. If nothing else, the confessor can speak to…’get things off his chest’ as it is said. If you like, I can be your confidant in place of the counselor. In fact, I insist. Where would you like to have this discussion?”

Philips thought about it for a second and decided.What the hell, may as well get it over with. "O.k. lets do this. You lead and I will follow. Say your office? Or wherever you think is appropriate." replied Philips "But I must warn you, it will be a short conversation. I kinda enjoy killing Klingons" he said and waited for Feth to lead the way.

“My quarters,” Feth said, “I estimate would be best. I may not be a counselor but I can hear you out in the venue of one. This way,” and Feth lead him through the corridors and around a corner to her quarters. The door slid open with a hiss as she arrived and entered. Due to the proximity, they remained open to allow Alonso the opportunity.

Feth kept her quarters in traditional Vulcan style. There were some candles spread about saving the center of the room with a central candle for mediation. In the far corner was a sitting area. From the table in the middle of the circle of chairs was some incense burning slowly. Hanging on the wall was an abstract painting filled with colors overlapping and merging into one another. There seemed no pattern or order to the painting, but a flowing of raw imagination by the artist.

Feth turned and motioned with her hand to enter and to make himself comfortable. “Do feel free to sit…or stand. Whatever suits your mood.”

Philips had been thinking the entire time about Vulcans and their ability to control their emotions. Kinda like how his old mentor Kenny used to do when dealing with his girls. Alphonso had thought Kenny was cruel, but in actual fact, Kenny was mild compared to some of the pimps that worked the Broadway Strip.

As he approached the door to her quarters, he paused slightly and then realised he was about to work with a being from another planet that was respected for this sort of thing. He was in fact lucky, he thought!

"Please be gentle with me." Joked Philips

Feth was putting her bag down in the corner and grabbing her phaser. Computer, lower lighting by two levels.” Turning back to Alphonso as the lights dimmed, “Vulcans are hardly gentle,” she said intending that to be strictly in a verbal sense. She walked to her meditative table, set her phaser on its lowest setting and set the central candle aflame.

Kneeling before the table, she motioned for him to do the same.

Philips took his position and did as he was told. He had misgivings but decided to fully apply himself to whatever this was. Vulcans were respected throughout the Galaxy. So he may as well benefit from this opportunity. "What do you want me to do first?" He asked.

“First of all, close your eyes.” Feth watched as he did then she followed suit. Speaking softly, “the incense that has been slowly burning, it has filled the room with its elegance. Allow it to fill you. The candle burning before you, feel its light and its heat. Allow it to center you. Focus your attention, your thoughts, and your emotions. Let nothing overtake you. Maintain your discipline. You are the master disciple of everything within you. Now…breathe deep and know that, even if your mouth speaks falsehood, you cannot lie to yourself. If you lead me to believe different, then this is all on you. You have to help yourself in order to allow the aid of another. Breathe deep and set your mind at ease. Calm the inner chaos and let the still waters wash away all that seeks to destroy you. Breathe deep.”

After a brief pause, “how do you feel?” she asked.

Philips began this small journey with skepticism, however whilst listening and following her instructions closely, something came over him. The realization of what he had been forced to do came over him like a wave. In the performance of his duties, he had been forced to take a life. The most precious of gifts from God. This he must atone for!

From a place, deep in his soul that he had closed off long ago, came a tear. It ran from the corner of his eye, down his cheek to the corner of his mouth, where it gathered and seeped into his mouth. The taste of his own tear brought it all home in a very different way than he had originally thought something like this might happen. Her words about being honest and not lying to himself hit a nerve. Even a bad ass had feelings. This was indeed the time and place for these feelings. So he let it out. That one tear turned to many. He found himself bent over softly sobbing for the life he took. Then hearing her voice, he stopped and began to recompose himself.

Feth spent that moment in observation and found herself a little on the confused side. Though she did not know what all was going on in Alphonso’s head she knew that humans generally had these ‘demons’ they would sometimes admit to. This ‘demon’ in particular must have been especially strong for Alphonso. On top of all that, she was taken aback somewhat at the success of this meditative session and did not wish to admit that this was the first time she had ever attempted to lead a ‘Katra Searching’ or whatever it was humans would call it. Feth did find herself desiring to know what was so profound that made him cry thus. She was taught, however, that, as illogical as emotions were, this style of meditation would sometimes bring out such reactions, even among Vulcans.

"I feel grateful for this opportunity to experience what you and your people are renowned for. Thank you. Let's carry on." He said softly.

“It pleases me to hear this,” she said. It pleased her not only because he seemed to have been benefitting, but that she had such success. “Surak has been quoted as saying ‘Conscious thought is an unpredictable corridor. Control it.’ Now, imagine your thoughts are a street. Tangent thoughts are forks and will attempt to lead you astray. Oftentimes this street can twist and fold and loop back upon itself. Be mindful of your thoughts and keep that street straight. You will come across bumps and holes. This represents pain and secrets. You may refer to these as your ‘demons’ or ‘skeletons in the closet.’ You may retain what you wish to retain, but know this; there is seldom exorcism of pain without divulging aloud. I invoke the wisdom of Surak and declare anything spoken now to be between you and I and you and I alone.” Feth sat straight and threw her head back a little. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and took in the smells of the incense. “Now, go for a walk down your street. Tell me what you see.”

Philips closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and exhaled. The word street invoked an image of Broadway's 4200 Block. He began to see images of old friends and people he knew. Then he saw the one person he would wish to see more than any other. His Grand Mother. His breathing quickened, this was the woman he loved more than any other. The flood gates opened. He bang to cry uncontrollably. "Momma." Was all he said and his head fell forward. His grandmother was Momma because she raised him. His mother was in an assisted living home due to a mental break down. So he and his brother were raised by Grandma, who they began at an early age to call Momma. Then he stopped crying. She was speaking to him, and when she spoke, he listened. "You were raised different boy. You were taught to respect life in all its forms. But that was before Aliens threatened Earth. You did what you had to do. Don't feel guilty or remorseful you did your job." She said " Now go play." And the scene began to change. After seeing some old friends and exploring a bit more his eyes opened. He waited for Feth.

“And you did just that,” said Feth, “your job. You were threatened and you acted accordingly; with little other choice no doubt.” She took a breath, closed her eyes and allowed his words to resonated within her. “In a motherly voice you said ‘Now go play.’ I take it that was meant for you to partake in social interactions with friends. You mentioned before that you were an enforcer of the law in the city of Chicago. Did these friends of yours ever cross paths with you again, later in life, on the opposite side of the law?”

Philips thought about it for a moment. "Yes, there was a situation where I came across two ex cops who were making a deal of some sort and when they recognized me, they scarppered or in other words left quickly, and I let them go, but that was about it shortly after I joined Star Fleet." Replied Philips

“Am I, then, correct in assuming that this Klingon was your first confirmed kill?” Feth asked. Given the man’s appearance and mannerisms, Feth felt that someone dying by his hand was not all that foreign to Alphonso.

It did not take him long to relive his first ever kill. It was something that would stay with him forever. He was a rookie cop, fresh out of the academy. It was a routine traffic stop and his FTO field training officer was doing all the talking. It was obvious that the driver never saw Alphonso or he would never have grabbed the gun under the front of his seat. As he levelled it on the FTO, Alphonso remembered how hard it had become for him to speak, and training seemed to kick in and he drew his service weapon and shot the driver from the passenger side before even telling the FTO there was a gun in play. "No, it was not. But it was the first alien kill." And he recapped what had happened in Chicago. "The guy was wanted. We stopped him because his vehicle fit the description of a vehicle on the Bolo list. Bolo stands for Be on the look out. I hit him in the right shoulder and the back right side of his neck. I only fired two shots and the perp never even got a shot off at my FTO. The man died on the spot we lived and I was decorated." As he hung his head, almost in shame.

Feth looked at the man, holding his head low. Whatever his eyes were focused on, the table, the candle, the backs of his eyelids, it was clear his focus was on something else. “It is understandably difficult to accept reward as a result of the death of another. You did prevent a life from being taken however. In the event of the Klingon, it was your life and the lives of your team that you preserved.” Feth looked at the candle and at the flame dancing atop it. “I am going to ‘go out on a limb’ you might say. In the event of your first kill, and perhaps even all subsequent kills, you had access to information such as the perpetrator’s name, bio and history. Considering the Klingon, you know nothing about him, not even his name. They live differently than we do and, I assure you, his death is viewed as an honorable one among the Klingons. Know that leaving him alive would have forced him to declare a personal vendetta upon you and you alone. Would it provide you with closure or satisfaction if there was a way we could be supplied with his name, a bio and perhaps history to include his family. After all, it is said that you truly do not know someone until you fight them. And you do not know this Klingon. Would you like to know?”

All Philips managed to say was; "Yes." In the smallest voice that had ever escaped these lips. Somewhere inside of him he knew she was correct in her assumption. If he had as much information as he would for any other assaliant, he would reconcile this death as would any good cop. The Klingon was for all intents and purposes an enemy of the State, and his judicious and rightful extermination was carried out according to the edicts of War. And in the past, they had drawn first blood. Justification was ours, he thought. Then he whispered the words that would vindicate himself of anyone else in the federation that might be lucky enough to make it through an encounter with a Klingon. He whispered; "They started this. They drew first blood." And he paused for a moment as he raised his head. "And if given the chance, I will kill them all!" In a voice that he himself did not even recognise. Chills ran down his back. At the realisation of what he had just declared. He was well and truely at War with the entire Klingon nation.

“Do not let anger and discrimination get in the way,” Feth said rather sternly. “There is no logic in ‘killing them all if given the chance.’ Two empires may be at war but lines of communication are always open, and peace is always sought. In my opinion, if there is to be a peace between the Federation and the Klingon Empire, then our generation will have the hardest time living in it. See this flame?” She shot her eyes to the dancing flame sitting atop the meditation candle. It danced so nicely and calmly. It was not bothering anyone at all. Feth brought a hand up and put the flame out between her thumb and index finger.

“The flame was not bothering anyone at all, nor causing any damage. Yet I snuffed its life away immediately and without second thought. Would you do the same with a Klingon, one that poses no threat to you? A Klingon child maybe.” She did not wait for an answer, but decided to let him stew on that as she continued. “As I said, there are lines of communication open at all times. I will reach out to Starfleet Security and see if they can relay a message. Perhaps we can get information on your dead Klingon, and then you will truly know who it was that died honorably by your hand.”

Philips felt all at once what Feth was saying. He felt shame. He knew that he would be professional, no matter who he was up against. He knew that most warrior races throughout time had taught their children their ways from birth. So he would not kill a child if he could avoid it. But to save his crew, he would kill a ship full of children. He quickly snapped back to his present state and condition. "We are done here. I'm sure I will make the right decision if it comes to it again. Thank you, for the gift of seeing my grandmother in as vivid a vision as was ever possible. But I fear I've taken up too much of your time." Said Philips as he began to rise from his kneeling position on the floor.

Feth rose with him and started around the table, removing from being between them, as though a barrier of sorts. “Do not think of my time as being something you can take too much of. When I am off duty, and there is a pressing matter such as this, please do not hesitate to seek me out. I will always try to avail myself and I will certainly try to make the time. Just remember, when all other lights seem to have gone out,” she stepped back and looked at the meditation candle, “here is one ready to be lit. Have yourself a good night, Chief.”

"I will remember that, and I thank you. You have a good night as well, my Vulcan friend." And he headed for the door and left the room. He wondered what Vanessa would think of all this! And a smile came to his face. She had that effect on people.

End of Log

Ensign Fetfaie D'Darra
Chief Petty Officer
Alonso Philips
Master at Arms


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